Saturday, October 4, 2008

Saturday fun.

Today was well wasted. I intended to finally catch up on all the myriad things that i HAVE to finish if i feel even a little inclined to pass school, but apparently spending the day driving sisters around takes far more precedence. "Oh well, you still have tomorrow!" is what i was told by my mom when i was freaking out because i had wasted six hours driving back and forth between the forks, portage, and home. If ANYONE could perhaps lend a hand in organising me a little at least, it would be greatly appreciated. Also if anyone has MS Paint (or the Mac equivelant), and a lot of time on their hands, i am in the middle of a massive project that would go so much faster if i didn't have this one part distracting me the whole time.

Driving was especially dull today, mostly because there was nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't run any red lights, or stop signs, or hit anything/one.

I finally picked my EE topic. Something about the Internet and how it affects society in general. I think that it's pretty much perfect for me. It's going to be amazing. The marker will weep when they read it, and then they will rip all their kids' paintings off of their fridge and put my essay on it.

Got back from my run a little while ago. The hallucinations this time were pretty much on par. Maybe a little faster coming, but just the same stuff... Lots of thinking instead of hallucinating actually. I always have the best ideas when i hit around 8k. Today: To save on airfare, i should just MAIL myself to Nova Scotia! Rhapsody is a great band, I should go listen to them when i get back. Why do i always eat fried foods before a long run? I could taste Fergie's Fish and Chips at around 3k.

No ozone today, but also i didn't take my music with me. I listened to an infinite symphony of sound, the soft whispers of the wind through the leaves... The crunch of gravel underneath my feet, in time with the soft panting of my own breath... The swish of my shirt as i moved my arms. The scrape of falling leaves as they slide across the cement. The slap of the other runners' feet with their laboured panting. An imperceptible hiss of bike tires, with a small woosh when a lone car drives through the serenade of nature and athlete. Then there was the smells and tastes! the bitter grittiness of the gravel dust, whipped by the wind. The earthy rot of the leaves as they are trampled underfoot, forgotten forever. The salty bite as your own sweat drips into your eyes, causing them to water and tear. Two miles later, you wonder briefly whether it is sweat or tears falling from your face. It doesn't matter though. You've done 5 miles, you're almost done. As you pass yet another couple walking with a baby carriage, you wonder if you'll ever find someone so perfect for you. Or maybe they aren't perfect for each other at all. Then you reach home, the last mile spent in quiet solidute. Your mind flits back down the road, fast forward stuck in reverse. You can see everything you saw as if from someone else's eyes. Then you drink water. You drink until the water cooler is gasping for air, while you still swallow the pure clarity. Finally you stop, and give yourself respite. You immediately overheat and start sweating again. You can feel the fresh sweat cutting rivulets through the crust of salt around your temples and chin, it doesn't matter though.... Then you go and write about it in your blog and laugh to yourself thinking: "haha, like all of the people who read this will be like WTF?!"

It doesn't look like that anymore actually... It's much prettier when the leaves are gold, brown and red. There are two parts of the sidewalk where no leaves fall, a narrow line through each side, where the bikes crush them and sweep them off to the sides and middle. It looks like the leaves are lava, and someone has driven a quad straight through it. A quad that doesn't melt and runs through lava.
Now for the actual description of the hallucinations....
Pretty much what happens is at 2k my mind starts to wander away from the rest of me, as i settle into a rhythm. then at 5k my brain says LOL WTF WERE R U? then i get a conflict between my mind and my brain, that ends in me thinking about some random inconsequential thing. then i start contemplating this thing, because my brain and my mind are having a tea party or a deathmatch with swords with guns on them or something. At like 8k, i start hallucinating, generally about whatever i was thinking about, but this would be 10-15 minutes later, so i would be proud if it was the same thing i started with. Then i start having even BETTER hallucinations, about concepts rather than people. I fought communism and capitalism today. It's like being trapped inside the political cartoons in a paper, with naught but your wits and a crossbow. At 15k, everything fades away, and you are running on nothing, towards nothing, your breath, heartbeat, and footsteps all echo inside your skull over and over again. Then at 20k, all you can see is a stadium in the distance. When you get to it, you see that it is filled to the top, but the top of the stands seems to extend outwards and upwards forever. The crowd sparkles with camera flashes, and they are shouting your name... "Paul! Paul! Paul!...." You realise that THIS is life. THIS is why you are here, THIS is the reason that you wake up in the morning. Then you finish, and the world disappears again. You see a digital clock glowing behind you. "1:32:33"... "1:32:34".... Then the world fades back in and you are pushed away from the numbers. Someone hands you a banana and a popsicle, you see a bucket of chocolate milk cartons and think "what the hell, i'm not going to run anymore today!" and take one. You then step out into the sunlight with your food, and more people swarm you with congratulations, and queries about the course, your time, your legs, mundane things that don't matter anymore.
Don't you look at me like that... I'm not crazy. I know it. Now for reals. Being salty is one of the weirdest feelings ever. You feel gritty, but then the salt is in all the tiny little cracks, so your skin is smooth to the touch. Also, don't drink from a SIGG if you're really salty, because it makes the rest of the water salty too. It's pretty gross.
Roseisle is going to be AWESOME! the leaves will look like lava flowing down the hill. I'll try and remember to take pictures


mel said...

paul. you need to get off the computer, get some fresh air - without writing about it afterwards. love your cousin, mel.

Paul said...

bah! that's what you think! if i WANT a mother, i'll just go find mine! and i don't right now, because parents and computers don't mix well. What happens is that they stand there and block the light and breathe on you until you go crazy because they read the whole screen back at you as loudly as they can, just to make it clear that they are, in fact, literate and that they are doing their best to annoy you. THEN when you go crazy and ask them to leave because they're blocking all the light and making you uncomfortable with their looming, they say "Oh, sounds like SOMEONE has been on the compy too long."

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