Tuesday, December 30, 2008

it IS a really great word...

I was just kind of running about the internet, specifically Blogger, and i came across Soul Skittles' blog (again) when i reminded myself 'addle' is a great word. It's really fun to say. And it sounds funny when you say it with accents from elsewhere. Like the Maritimes. ay'ddle... or even further east, from UK "a'ddlle" or even from the good ol' prairies. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *breath* AAAaaaaaaaAAAA'ddullll. I'm not even joking. We actually have accents flatter than a three-day-old bottle of Coke, left out in the sun. After it was opened of course.


Today ranks pretty high on the list of days that i really wish i was invisible. I'm exhausted, and still half-frozen from the two day speed skating camp which ended today, but i still have to stay conscious for another while until all these people decide that they have had enough of the party and leave. I'm not even sure which party this is, it's not any one's birthday, not a holiday, and really nothing important that i can think of. It's not an anniversary, nobody just got here (from elsewhere in the world) or is leaving. Also, i didn't have a chance to shower since this morning, so I'm pretty sure i smell like a mixture of ice, sweat, and deodorant. Blecky. At least i don't smell like feet. But that's not the only reason i want to disappear. In the middle of said party (read: 5 minutes ago), my supervisor at work phoned and told me that "my term with HBC has expired" and that i should seek a new line of employment.
*Spoiler alert* This turns into a rant about Transformers, so i'd go watch the
movie before reading too much more

Speaking of other things that are comically crappy happening to me, yesterday, my mom told me that she would rather watch a movie than pick me up from speed skating, so i would have to make my own way home from The Oval. I got a ride with my friend, but my mom failed to tell me that i would need my key. Why she would think i had my key? i don't know. I always tell her "most people don't bring important pieces of identification, or other valuables to places where they leave their stuff in a room that is unlocked and free to go in and leave for the whole day" WHICH IS TRUE. i don't know about you folk, but i like to keep my stuff in the "not stolen" category. SO, i was locked out of the house, and the garage was locked, so i had to sit in my backyard, in the -30 freezing cold for an hour and a half until my dad came home and let me in. Then my mom came home another hour later, at 6 and told me "come on, let's go to a party at your cousins! it'll be FUN!!!" to which i replied "Hell no." Then i got dragged to my cousins for, and i quote: "only about an hour or so". This turned out to be two hours, and then my parents decided to go pick up my cousin who was done work at 9:30. But, they got to the mall, and found out he was ACTUALLY working till 10, and also closing the store. Meanwhile, i was trying to lie down and pass out at my cousin's in peace, when everyone was making tons of noise. Then they decided to wake me up so we could watch Transformers. Fun!!! Then, at 11:30, my parents showed up and said "okay, time to go!" So, it looks like i am going to be going to bed well after midnight every night this winter break. Which, is NOT good. I like to go to bed really early, and wake up disproportionately early. (read: 10-11, and up at around 5:30-6:30, 7 at the latest.)
I have several beef with the movie by the way! If the transformers learned to speak English from the "World Wide Web", why did only ONE have a ridiculous accent, and why didn't any of them speak leet? If I learned to speak English from the Internet, i would FOR SURE have a much awesomer way of speaking. By using words like "awesomer" for starters. AND, why didn't Optimus Prime use that kickass-sword-firey-death-thing when he fought Megatron?! FURTHERMORE, why did Shia La-whatever-his-name-is bother saving Megan Fox? Especially after she was all bitchy to him in the first most of the movie. i would have let Starscream or Bonemuncher or Crazydeath kill her straight away! and how could a couple of computer-y type people dodge those little ninja stars things when all the security guards couldn't? the transformers movie is made of LIES and FAIL. and also some pretty cool toys. i'll have to admit. There IS more than meets the eye, but most of that stuff is hidden away for a reason. kind of like why really really fat people wear baggy clothes.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

christmas again

Here is a nice list of things i got, for archival purposes. Don't read it or anything mmmkay? I might add smartass remarks later, but i just want to see what i got, and write it here so i don't forget.

1 box of lego, guitar stand, Fender guitar picks: blue and thin(EXACTLY what i asked for! thanks julia!), a handy book of beatles music, two hoodies, pyjamas with polar bears on them, nice sweater so i don't wear a t-shirt to formal occasions anymore, t-shirt (which will most likely be worn to a formal occasion), Wii Music, assorted money: various currencies, Family Guy Calendar (it was bad enough having to remember to change a MONTHLY calendar this year, how am i going to remember EVERY DAY?!), Long underwear, tights(RUNNING, not ballet. smartasses.), speed skates(which are extremely awesome and all that. i used them christmas eve, at 7:30 in the morning), watch strap, Assorted fantasy books(looking forward to reading all of them :D), ear covery type things(which consists of a head band and ear muffs), milky way bars (:D), Guitar hero Aerosmith, and i'm sure i've forgotten something, but all my stuff is strewn about my room in a festive manner. As with before festivity IS key.

Back from the christmas

Christmas was an ordeal. there was quite literally A SHIZZNESS of people in my house. for those of you who don't know, that is like a thirty-very.9 on a scale from one to crowded. Also, i didn't get anything really fun that i can play with, besides stuff for my guitar. But that's kind of tricky, because nobody ever taught me how to read guitar music. I can play a tab, and chords fine, but i can't read the actual NOTES, which is sad, because my sister got me a book of beatles music. Then i got clothes, but half of them i can't wear, because they're actually ATHLETIC clothing, which means you wear them while you are going and getting all sweaty so that you don't get AS sweaty. Then i got two hoodies, but i didn't get to wear them really yet, because i had to go to stupid work for the last two days, ALL DAY D: THEN i got an assortment of Wii games, but there is always some other moron on the ..tv.. yes. I just had an epic reset right there. But TV is the word i want. So yeah, i'm sitting here with a crapload of sweet stuff, but not being able to play with it. *scowls* My christmas day/evening/whatever time of day it was is comme ca: First, i woke up at 6:30, because i had my watch on for the first time in a week, and i normally sleep through the alarm on it, but i'd gotten used to not having it on my wrist. then i went back to sleep. Then at 7, i was woken up by my brother, and two sisters, and cousin, who were thumping around the house like a herd of idiot kids. then i rolled over and looked for my stocking, which should have been pretty much sticking in my face like the previous christMASes. THEN at 8:30, my mom said "paul, it's time to get up now, we want to open presents!" Then i was like "nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" and i said "fine." Then i said " Turn on the light, i wanna look in my stocking first! and she said "okay" i looked down, and there was NO STOCKING! D: i sat up a bit, and looked at my dresser, and at the foot of the ladder, but it wasn't there! i was like \ \ this close to crying! and then my mom was all 'ohhh, maybe 'santa' didn't find it because your room is such a mess!' but THAT wasn't it, because i cleaned it up so that i'd have stocking stuff in the morning!! then she saw i was LIKE CRYING, and she was like 'maybe charlie is hiding it?' because charlie (the cat) was sitting on it, at the foot of my bed. I was quite happy about that. It's really distressing, when you can't find your stocking, on the last christmas of your childhood ever, and you were up till like three in the morning, making mushroom turnovers (i made mushroom turnovers, they were awesome). DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. grr. Then we opened presents, it was pretty cool. i had cookies and hot chocolate for breakfast.
In my stocking i got some cool stuff too, i got a rubik's cube, but it's called a "SUDO-CUBE" which, if you didn't immediately get, means that you have the numbers 1-9 on each face. I'm scared to mix it up, because it seems much more confusing than an ordinary cube. I also got a headband, giftcards for movies and subway, and a comb, and a lot of white hot chocolate. That's good, because i've been complaining since like a while ago because we never have any hot chocolate in our house, let alone the white kind. But actually, i like white hot chocolate better. I like brown hot chocolate and black tea, and any other ethnic drinks that you can name. Colours aren't races, jerks. If i was white, and someone called me white, i'd be like "i'm CANADIAN fool!" But, as it is, i am not white, and i am canadian all the same.
At least i don't have to work until next saturday... AND i have a speed skating camp on monday and tuesday! this is HUGE. it means that i don't have to put up with my extended family AT ALL for two days! Speaking of extended families.... My aunt decided that $100 canadian in euros is now worth something more like $250 CAN, so she made a big point about not getting me a present. At least she compensated for this by telling me at every chance i got that i should not expect a present.
Life today came with extra weak sauce, because my dad didn't drive me to work, because my silly (read moronic) aunt didn't plug the car in last night, after driving around until three in the morning, and he decided to wait until five minutes before i started working to tell me that i'd have to walk. THEN i had to work, whilst mon ENTIER FAMILLE, ont barrels of fun and laughs playing laser tag while i had to work. THEN i had to stand there and work, when my supervisor told me that there is a strong possibility that i would have to seek new employment elsewhere. THEN i had to walk in the frozeycold back home, because everyone else was too busy having supper at a nice restaurant to come and get me. THEN i got yelled at for letting the girls and alex watch a movie that wasn't REALLY appropriate for children while i was working. Explanation: I was working until 6:30, and at around 6:00, my IDIOT B(R)OTHER started "Journey to the Center of the Earth". Then, i walked in the door at 7:05, half frozen, and all the way hungry and like 87 percent tired. Then, my mom phoned, and gave me a hard time about being on the compy, because i wasn't watching the movie, so WHERE ELSE would i be? then she yelled at me for letting them watch the movie, which was like half done, and i found out there was no pizza left because stupid alex had to go and eat it all so i wouldn't have supper. THEN i can't play guitar hero aerosmith awesome super fun edition 5 or whatever the hell it's called, because alex decided that he wants to play Wii Fit by himself. SO i'm stuck ranting on the internet, still cold tired and hungry.
Speaking of which, would anyone like to donate some money to the "let's start Paul playing WoW again?" i am in dire need of some MMORPG-y goodness.
Speaking of which, Maegwin and Laura, and whoever else feels charitable: SAVE ME. Come and kidnap me, so i don't have to put up with my family anymore! PLEEEEEEEEEEASE.....
I need a new picture for my blogging profile. But it's too hard to get a good picture of Tyya (the cat who i currently have a picture of on here), and i already have Charlie (the other one, who is the MSN one. You can add me if you haven't already, it's leetsp34k3r@hotmail.com), and i really can't stand buffy or daisy, so they don't get to be on the inter-blogotubes. And all my fish are dead, so i can't really take a picture of them. Decisions, decisions.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmastime fun

It's Christmas time again, and that means that i should probably give the internets a rest for an hour to run to the nearest mall and hemorrhage money until people are satisfied. Or i could just go to 7-11 and buy slurpee coupons for everyone! yeah!

Speaking of snack food, my speed skating coach got these new things called 'Pro Bars'. They're roughly the greatest granola bar type thing since some guy thought it would be a good idea to pull grass out of the ground and use the seeds for stuff. which was a while ago. You buy one, and first you think "wow, i didn't really want to pay that much for this." then you either open it and eat it, or you stick it in your pocket for later. If you eat it, you finish right away even though they're pretty big, and you turn around and buy another one, for later. or if you stuck it in your pocket, you just skip that last part, and think "wow, this thing is like a brick." They ARE like bricks. Except tasty bricks. apparently they're organic too, but does that really make a difference in a performance grade granola bar?

Monday, December 15, 2008

back from the dead!

well, not REALLY back from the dead yet. I die tomorrow. at 10:05. And then i have a track meet, and after that, i think i might be starting WoW again. so needless to say, there may be another hiatus. I'm debating whether to spend my money on a video card so i can KILL zombies, or reactivating my WoW account, so i can BE a zombie... Decisions Decisions.
I'm pretty nobody even READS this anyways, you just like the way the words look, so that it looks kind of like you're doing something with your life when your parents walk in the room? TELL ME. Do the nice sentences and proper grammar and syntax please them?! Whatshisname, i am talking about YOU. Everyone here knows who whatshisname is. Even whatshisname. DON'T contradict me. i am making PERFECT sense. HAHAHAHAHA.

I did it again... i left this monstrosity of a post in the drafts folder hoping that it would turn into a pile of bricks and friendship or something nice. Now i'm stuck with like half a rant and thirteen twentyfourths of a whine.
The oral went spectacularily. my teacher actually had tears in his eyes when i finished. It was like that, because for practising, and doing our poetry unit, our teacher was like 'hey, i can just give them this, and then say what I want to say on it, and then make them think that THEY did it.', so we all picked out one poem from a book of like twenty. then we spent like a week preparing them, and went through them at a rate of like two-three per class. Now this was like a month ago. Then i decided not to DO mine until the last day of presentations, because i have the luck of some lucky bastard. Then my teacher was sick for three days, a weekend came, and then several other ridiculous things happened, too, so i didn't actually GO until last thursday. The day of my oral(tuesday) i was freaking out because i didn't know ANY of the other poems, and when i looked through the back of my envelope, there was lines ordered like they were in a poem!!! OH NOES!
but then i opened the envelope, and inside there were three copies of MIDSUMMER MORNING RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(my poem)
roughly the greatest thing ever. I sat there and wrote down everything that i had said, and then everything that my teacher said, and then i talked fast for fifteen minutes. Stay tuned, i'll add more later. i have to go dance around the tree in a festive manner, throwing lights everywhere.
This just in. Someone is sending me christmas cards from Vancouver, BC. If you are the one doing this: "who ARE you? you forgot to write your name on the return address, and i can't really read your signature that well." if you are one of the people going 'wtf paul.' it's pretty hard to read.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Finger Puppets!

If anyone can teach me how to make finger puppets, go for it. maegwin is being dumb and not making me any. It's not like i am going to make them into voodoo dolls or anything! that would be stupid. that would result in me having needles stuck in my fingers. Which is bad.
Also, while i am on the subject, I need a webcam, and lots of no questions. It will be most glorious and amazing. Windows Movie Maker or something like that would be handy too. i have 6:45 of prairies that has no sound whatsoever. I'm also debating whether or not to put some subliminal porn in it. Maybe i'll just say there is and wait for some chump to say 'hayyy, thar b noo pr0n hear!' Then i will be like AHAHAHAHA n00b! that is some extreme rick-rollage! it will be VERY internet worthy, and VERY hilarious.
But actually, somebody make me finger puppets. i will actually love you forever. If anyone does make me them, i would definitly play with them every day. More than video games. And eventually, there will be more than eight puppets onstage at once and everyone will be like WTF? and i'll be like 'that one's not a FINGER puppet!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!' and everyone will be like 'ewwwwwww' and then i'll be all 'jeeze, i'm just using my toes as fingers. relax. morons.'
And now for a story of sadness and tears and crazy awesome. To keep the madness monkeys at bay, we'll go in alphabetic order.
Crazy awesome- Rise Against is coming here Friday (tomorrow) as part of their Appeal to Reason tour. Disturbed is coming here Saturday. I have enough money to go to one or both of these, and probably buy myself a t-shirt should i so desire. Also, the MTS centre isn't that far, i could probably convince someone to drive me, or just take one bus there.
Sadness- I have to work Friday and Saturday evening.
Tears- I have to work Friday and Saturday evening and there is nothing i can do about it. Also i have no finger puppets to display my true emotions with...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

to prove a point

Normally, this goes against my moral and ethical beliefs, but how else am i going to prove it?!
As you can see, i DO in fact, own a pair of Wii boxers, and i AM in fact, wearing them.
For those of you with any respect for me, You're nice! I like you!
For the rest of you. You probably should have seen this coming. I mean, You WERE warned! As an explanation... i was bored! That's all you ever need know.
Except for that these are my favourite boxers ever, unless i have to go for a run in them. Then they are like the worst ever.
While we are on the subject of my clothing... Actually never mind. I thought i had something to say, but i didn't really. move along, nothing to see here!
When you wrap yourself up with a big blanket, do you ever get the urge to just lie on the floor and fall asleep? I do. I was walking around in a blanket, and then i just decided to lie down for a while. My cat decided that it would be fun, so we had an impromptu sleep party on the ground. Hooray for sleep parties!

Sunday, November 16, 2008


Speed skating meet today. Then work. Then blogging. Then death.

Let's work in reverse alphabetical order shall we?


It was pretty uneventful today, just a four hour shift. The only redeeming things is that the christmas carols seemed to be broken today, and Fred Penner came and bought a dog leash! I thought i recognized him right when he was in the line, and then he handed me his card, and it said "fred penner" on it. And nobody had like three fistfuls of expired coupons for stuff they didn't actually buy.

Speed Skating.

So, i was going at like 35 km/h, and i hit my blades together. I flew like three metres, and then hit the boards, and stabbed myself in the leg. Then i fell in the Final too, and slid along the water.


So, this is the end i guess. I've given marginal thought to what happens next. I'd like there to be maybe a second life, or a 1-up system, but a zombie sounds cool too

Enough of that. This is like a week later, and i have bored of whatever i was writing there, I like stuff again. Except for that smug little video card. He thinks he is safe inside the computer. WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY. you aren't. As soon as i find where my mom hid the wrench and powertools, IT IS ON. And then we'll get a nice one, and play Laft 4 Dead! Hooray for zombies! While we're on the subject, I never really thought about how much i love pretzels. They're like nature's own snacks of goodness! Especially the straight kind, that haven't been twisted, because you can grab a big handful, and they all line up so you don't throw half of them on the floor.
If anyone feels in a charitable mood, look at the ads at the bottom and tell me if they are cool. I'm not allowed to click them, and i'm not even supposed to be telling you about them. It's against the rules, but for every click i get, i get a little bit of money, and when it reaches $100, i get a check in the mail! YAYY!
Ok, i'm done for now. Go find someone else's blog to read. There is a bag of pretzels who are calling my name.

Saturday, November 15, 2008


We've had snow here for around a week, and I'm pretty sure I've already got frostbite on my ears. AGAIN. They're in a perennial state of feeling kind of painful and looking a little bit red. They also hurt now and again. I should go find my head band or something. Later.
I also am pretty sure i got frostbite, but on my brain. And not from the cold. This would be because i had to stand around in Zellers for 8 hours listening to happy-fun Christmas carols the whole time. Except for the three to four minutes when they played the Simple Plan "Christmas carol". That's almost as bad. I was muttering "Caramelldansen" from like hour four. AND i get to go back again tomorrow! YAYYYY! Only this time, I'll be tired and probably a bit sore from being at the first speed skating meet all morning =D. Speed skating is the greatest. It's pretty much turning left, going fast, and racing other people all rolled into one! Also when you fall you're all "oh crap." then you hit the wall going 30km/h, and it's all "WHUMPH!" and everyone in the whole fieldhouse can hear it because it's way too loud for it's own good. Then all the people in the stands are all "ahhh!" and there is an aghast silence until you get up and kind of shake yourself off, and then go slowly. Maybe I'll take my camera and take pictures while I'm there. Then you can see the happy-funness of it all.
Now i'm off to bed. because there isn't much left in my brain after the aforementioned torture that it was put through. It feels like you played WoW all day, then did handstands for like an hour, and then you sat there eating pretzels while some jerks ran around screaming, and hitting each other with your stuff, and yelling "RAPE" and trying to anally penetrate each other with assorted household objects. And then they found the pots and pans...
In fact, that is EXACTLY what it feels like. Don't ask me to relive the circumstances of said trauma, but it was pretty loud, and traumatic. And it'll mess you up good for like a day or two at the least.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


This would be the post where i do all of the things that people say 'why don't you write about it in your blog?' seriously or for reals. I've got a pretty extensive to do list it seems. I've only had it for like a month! Let's see. Where to start...

This part is for somebody who thinks that i write my blog to "my readers" in case she can't find it, i'll be sure to include her email later so the "readers" can launch a massive attack on her inbox (Incidentally, massive attack is a pretty good band.) I haven't a clue who my audience or "readers" really are. Find me somebody who is pretty nerdy, but likes to go running FOR FUN, and plays more video games than is really healthy. Also make them pretty misanthropic, because in my experiences, most people are generally meanie-pantses who although they MEAN the best, they're stupid. So really i guess, go clone me and then show them this. I would get a kick out of it if you told me i was a clone and showed me my clone's blog. If you went back in time, and hung out with yourself, would you have a split conciousness, or would past-you be a totally different entity, who you wouldn't really know what they were thinking. So really, my blog is for the reality-challenged. To actually get the whole LaToP experience, you must have the gleam of insanity in your eyes. The kind that ends worlds. You must have met the old man at the waterfall. And mastered using it. Then you can have this. And NO red shirts allowed. Also, if you rate things on a binary scale, then you pretty much win in my books forever. Maybe i should keep a highscore.

Now, for a return to the LaToP of "olde". I suppose i should give out some random quote to base your life on or tell you which song is my favourite for this week. Also, i now have the power to put random files up for grabs on the real internet! hooray! This week, the song is "Swim" by In Flames. For the like two of you suckas who think that In Flames suck, beat it. This is my blog, so that means i can play God whenever i feel like it. You don't like it, fine. Go whine about it in your blog. Quote: "Sometimes i put money in my jacket pocket so i can forget about it and find it later." I forget who said it, but i heard it from my cousin. Here is a picture. Personally, i think it's hilarious. It brightens my day every time somebody is a jerk to me. Which is frequently.

And NOW, for the fabled PAUL AWARDS!!! woohoo! happy day! hoorays! all that jazz.

I suppose i should give out a whole bunch because it's been a while. How does "nutmeg" sound? too many? No?? Alright then.

First, the Noob Award goes to..... I suppose Kowaomote Because she's the last person who left a comment besides me. Reading blogs is fun. Especially when that's the only way you ever know somebody.

Then the Unusual award goes to Caleb, who unfortunately doesn't read this i think. World's greatest "that's what she said" joke. We were waiting for this guy to get out of the way with his forklift. Then i was like 'okay, i'm going in.' then Caleb was all "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!" "ooh oooh!" and cheered himself on in this manner. Then the forklift guy was like "i'm pretty sure that 'she' wouldn't do that. is SHE a hermaphrodite?" Then Caleb was like "oh noesies! Noo! i didn't mean it like that! nooooooooo!"

Then the Tool Award goes to.... THE SPADE! that's right, the spade is now the proud owner of a paul award. And most of you aren't! i guess you get fail out of ten! And you do have to admit, the spade is a pretty useful instrument. it's got so many creative uses! you can dig a hole! Use it for a large bowl of jello! Smash some moron's head in! Use it for your coal furnace! a friend when you're in need! a handle to lean on!

Fourthly, the Mean Award goes to... Quinn! just because. I'm not really supposed to say any more than this, but helen. You know why. For the rest of you, Too bad! it violates the terms of service, i don't want to have another happy fun adventure battling the forces of Google and Blogger because they think i don't exist again.

Fifth is the Extreme Award, which goes to all those lucky bastards who are standing in line right now for Wrath of the Lich King. I wish that i could find the time/money to be cool like them. It's not even cold out though, so they win more like the "Kind of okay Award" but that has too many words.

Finally is the Surprise Award, which goes to... You guys! Hahahahahah! i bet you thought i was gonna say something like "Genius Award" or something didn't you? Maybe the "Green Award"? or the "Gregarious"? Well, if you are feeling like you're missing something by now, look at the first letter of each award and then spell "nutmeg". The Trick is, that you're supposed to catch on BEFORE this one, and then i laugh because you thought i was going to do something that a normal smartass would do! Surprise!

And lastly, the Paul Award, goes to Maegwin. I suppose it's kind of like being Machiavellian, but more like "Paulian" or "Paulese". So better in every way, except not as vindictive. It mainly goes to her because she FINALLY decided that not talking to Paul was vastly inferior to talking to Paul. I talk to Paul all the time, and it does WONDERS for my sanity, and general presence of mind. As in, you wonder where my sanity is gone, and why my mind and my brain are fighting again.

I decided to start a new blog. It's called "Fascbook", and it's pretty much about how facebook is the great devil of our time. Some guys like Osama and Obama, are kind of misunderstood sometimes, but really they just want us to see the great evil that we have let into our lives by "getting facebook". It should start on "Like Friday".

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Mental Images = End in BAD

So, pretty much the last couple days are the worst ever. Especially because my mind decided to stop thinking in like words, so I'm having an internal dialog, but instead decided that it would be more productive if i started thinking more along the lines of happy-fun pictures. Brain pictures are not happy fun. NOT PRETTY, NOO!
Right now i'm stuck with particularily pleasing ones. and by pleasing i of course mean "traumatic" and by particularily i clearly mean "not okay" by "ones" i also of course mean that my brain is a little to fast for it's own good. If anyone finds a Ctrl+Alt+Delete for the brain, let me know. Or if you happen to have any steak knives lying around.
This is an amazing blog by the way. If this seems out of character, that's because the Idiot just kind of walked in and wrote stuff while i was gone. Rather than delete it, or expose you to the horrors of his idiocy, i just kind of edit it. You would ALL be laughing quite a lot if you read the stuff he managed to delete. "I have a two inch penis, blah blah blah, feel sorry for me etc." becomes "I have a twelve metre penis, la la la, i pity you. etc." As you can see, neither of these stories is true, because twelve metres is kind of far. Most people can't jump that high, so it makes "bed time" a little awkward... Have fun with those mental images.
Or try to get away from them like fat kids try to get to cake at a party. Clawing through children, biting adults in the bathing suit area, and generally doing things that are uncalled for and considered "impolite" in public. Except you're a fat kid, IN SPANDEX.
Enough images for now though. i could tell you stories that would straighten your hair and dye it black. They would also make you think that life sucks, even though most of you have nothing to be sad over. The others, you know who you are. BE ASHAMED.
For one last mental image. trying to think of these things is like when you're working at a till in Zellers and a really fat lady comes up and buys a whole bunch of lingerie. Or a hairy bum. It's very unpleasant, and once you see it, NOTHING is the same.
For those of you who don't go outside, for fear of the Machines/Zombies/Sun, it snowed here. Then it froze. Then it became ice, which i spent BLOODY AGES scraping off of my sidewalk.
Now that's all i have for you. Go look at something hideous on the internet and think about it for the rest of the day. I'm sure most of you are creative, but for those who aren't here are some suggestions. Tub Girl, 2 girls one cup, goatse. Google images it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Math fun

SO i was having trouble with this math problem, and it was too complicated to draw out on MSN, so i'm just gonna stick it here. It's from the Yellow Review Package that is due at the end of the month (i.e. Friday). This is the only problem that's given me trouble....
So, i went and got help from Mrs. Decelles, and APPARENTLY, the whole "mixed number" thing that was giving me trouble in the first place is a FILTHY LIE. Why must IBO lie to me? Why do they pollute my pure unsullied website with their blasphemy? I'm pretty sure that i have never wronged them. Oh well, i suppose that now i have an anecdote to tell people...

Monday, October 20, 2008


Well, now that the madness of the weekend is over I finally have time to perform the proverbial "Hard Reset". All i need is a toothpick. Anyone know where my reset button is?

But actually. There is nothing quite as awesome as waking up in the morning and realising that despite the world's best efforts the previous day, you are still alive. Right now i can feel every single thing that i did to myself since i woke up last time. The day after a big race/tournament/meet is always awesome because you know for pretty much sure that you aren't in the Matrix but you're actually in the real world. You get up and walk to the shower and cringe because your legs and arms and back are all stiff and don't move easily. Or maybe that's just me.

Can't really think of much to say right now. Weird. Let's see....

The ultimate tournament was yesterday and on Saturday. I didn't get to play the first day, because of Shakespeare in the Snow. I got there at 3:30, and i was excited because i was just in time for the last game scheduled for the day. Then i went to the table to see where we were playing. WE HAD A BY. that's the end of my story. In the second day i got to play in all three games, and got two spirit awards. I also got pwnt in the back of the head/hand. BY MY OWN TEAMMATE.
Oh jeeze. I realised that i hadn't posted this just now, when i decided to check up on the ol' blog
Well, here it is i guess. I'll try to get into blogging again, i just kind of stopped when i realised how much stuff i had to do.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Into the Abyss...

Well, it looks like this is going to be my last post until several whiles later. I'm leaving in 10 hours for Delta Marsh, for Shakespeare in the Snow.
For those of you who don't know: I actually REALLY REALLY LIKE Shakespeare. Not sure why, but i just DO. I like everything that has a moderately interesting story.
Got back from the Awards night like an hour or two ago. It was quite interesting. The Jazz band this year is TERRIBLE. it's full of self-absorbed grade 11's who are convinced that they are the shizzness of the world. That and a bunch of grade 12's who give -3 damns out of 17.
Have you guys been writing "life-times-paul.blogspot.com" in creative and hilarious places? you should. If you do and take a picture, i'll give you 500 bonus points, and a 1-up. think about it... FREE points! all you have to do is commit an extremely minor crime. it's not even a crime. write it nicely and then say it's art.
On a completely related topic, does anyone think i am depressed? because i get the feeling that people think i am. always fawning over me and stuff. And THEN i saw this little ad that said i could make MONEY from my blog. So i clicked on it, and it decided to add some related to ads to my blog. Then i moved it around because i didn't want it to be right on top of my blog. Then i looked at the ads... "Make MONEY off of your blog..." "Blog Tools and gadgets" "Depressed? there is help..." wait... DEPRESSED?! You know you are doing SOMETHING strange with your life when you can fool even the Google that you are depressed. To reiterate: I'm not Depressed. There is NO help. I like to consider myself Misanthropic. And it's YOUR guys' fault! (looking at YOU Bojan and Andrew...)
Make sure you look at my profile. It makes me happy to see that people look at it. Also, i spent a good sum of time on those questions! they were *Hard*! And i also ran out of characters in the random question. Apparently you can answer their questions about mud and dirt and clay in LESS than 400 characters. that's INCLUDING spaces. i thought that it was all about EXPRESSION here in the blogosphere! It's actually more about pretending to express yourself, while the people who actually are putting themselves on the frontlines against the flames and trolls are ridiculed. I have been there. Trust me kids, it's not pretty. There are trolls that will destroy you from the inside out, with their wicked fire, and insane mutterings. The rational mind was not MADE to deal with that kind of abuse or lack of any use whatsoever. Sometimes... the only way to kill a troll is to become one yourself. BUT. can you live with what you will become in the battlefields of the Forums?
An elite force of the world's greatest minds are preparing to venture into the largest bastions of the trolls. They have been named according to the domain of the trolls residing there: YTMND, 4CHAN, and the OT. YTMND and 4CHAN are extremely close, and whoever controls one holds heavy sway in the other. the OT is by far the most extensive and worst infected. We no longer need powerful champions. Now we need people. Will you take up the fight? will you carry the light and lead them into the dark and back, my wayward children? Perhaps. But YOU... you were the first to return. the most wayward son.... you are special, different from the rest. it falls to you to keep this a fortress dedicated against stupidity, and morons. Do not fail me in this request...
I must go now... they have found me. I may return. i may not, but remember this, the memes are the greatest idols on the internet. Misuse will result in the loss of their potency. Guard the sacred cats with your sanity. Here, lives mean nothing. Your mind is your greatest weapon. Use it well, keep it well oiled. And make sure you don't feed it after midnight.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


It seems that blogger.com has come to their senses, and decided that i am, in fact, a person again. This calls for a celebration! I think i am going to go get a job. That seems like a reasonable way to commemorate this event.
I got 26th in Provincials on Thursday. It was awesome. The only bad part was that i COULD have gotten better, but my shoe came untied, and i had to stop and tie it >_< I took a time lapse of the prairie as we drove back. This is like half an hour of driving. There WAS another fifteen minutes before that, but the camera was moving around too much then, so i just deleted it. Then after that i went straight to Ultimate, where we were playing Elmwood. We won 12-10, and it was a really good game. Elmwood is about the same skill as us, so whenever we play it's a good match. It used to be like that for Gordon Bell, but they don't have a team anymore. Then i went and drove around Lindenwoods. For those of you who do not know the horror of Lindenwoods: It's actually a maze. None of the streets go straight for more than 100 metres, and they intersect with themselves, or with the same street twice. Funny story, I was driving (no that's not the funny part. Jerks.) and i was going like 20 so i could see the numbers, because Lindenwoodsians have a problem with light, and there was three cars behind me, doing what i was doing. Then we realised we had passed the house, so we all turned around in the SAME driveway, and like ten people joined the party. Carpools only work when at least one person knows what they are doing.
I am also obligated to mention Aidan in the blog, because he is deserving of a blatant personal attack... NOBODY ELSE is missing that many brain cells, and they would all think it's a bad idea to hurl your shoulder into someone's face. If you see Aidan, feel free to call him a nasty name. @Aidan: YOU ARE A MORON.
Anyone know lots about hips? Since Thursday, mine clicks. It's kind of worrying me... It's also only the right one.
Counting Crows is a pretty good band.... So is Blaqk Audio.
Alright, i'm just grasping here, because the video is taking a while to upload.
Perhaps some random funny things i heard recently. "Trust me, I won't spill that much. Just hand me the gasoline, I do this ALL THE TIME." "I swear to God, Paul... You set me on fire ONE MORE TIME..." "Ohhh!! If we light this on fire, WE CAN COOK THE SAUSAGE!!!" "This Tic-Tac, Andrew's drink...." "AIIIEE! DIE FACEBOOK!"
I had the most enlightening epiphany today, while i was running. I was trying to remember EXACTLY who "Janel" was, because she didn't email me for a month, and i had nothing good to write back, because conversations don't keep for a month. Then i looked at the clouds and thought "Wow those are some exquisite clouds. I wish i could draw those or something. Then, all of a sudden i was like "HOLY CROW! JANEL CAN DRAW!".
I decided that i didn't really want to post that video that badly anyways. I'll probably put it on Youtube later. Maybe.
i finally wore my sweater that has the thumb holes. I never realised how skeletal my fingers are until i saw them under twilight, without the hand part of them. My fingers look even bonier than zombie fingers, like straight up skeletons.
I played around with the settings for the blog a bit too, so now people don't have to make an account to comment on it. Hoorays! On the same note, You lazy bums! it's not that hard! Kids these days. No respect for the old ways. It also feels just that much nicer, because there is that many more things that i can screw around with

Monday, October 6, 2008

Rainy Day

Haha, i just kind of realised that ME commenting on my own blog only works if people actually read it, and feel obligated to get involved in it. Otherwise it's just someone stumbling across a true gem of literarianism, amidst the mindless drivel of the blogosphere, and then after they have left thinking "hmm, that was kind of nice..." i yell something well thought out and intelligent after them...

Did i mention how awesome Rhapsody is? yes? oh well. It's like if you took Dragonforce, and added violin parts to it. VIOLIN parts, in METAL. it's exactly like you would imagine the soundtrack to your life would be, if you lived in Azeroth, or Hyrule, or somewhere similar. Not so much the Underdark though, that would be different. The singer is really good too. I guess not everyone has as fertile an imagination as i do though. It's like this. Think Lord of the Rings, but with more dragons and magic. more like Final Fantasy i guess.

That's pretty much all i have for now, i'll perhaps write more after school. It's raining, and there is cross country today :D Rainy and Running go together like White Hot Chocolate, and Key Lime Pie. VERY WELL.
So, I still have to get my head around the fact that if i take more than a day to write an entry half of the things become irrelevant. I keep all the stuff in though, it adds a distinct nutty flavour to my works.
Cross country yesterday was fun. My shoes still aren't totally dry. There was THREE INCHES of water in some parts, and like twice that in one part. I biked through all that today on the way to ultimate. Then i biked back on the road so i didn't spray myself with mud again. Speed Skating started several short slices of ...succulent... time ago (i realise that "of time ago" doesn't start with "s", but if i wrote "sof stime sago" i would have had to commit honour suicide.) I didn't like being in the advanced ice as much, because they've all been skating together for longer than i have skated total, and they've been on ice this season for six weeks already. I'm not as fast as them, and there is nobody to talk to :(. But i guess that it's the coaches decision. He told me not to worry too much, because there are a bunch of people who weren't there yet, and he's going to move more people up.
Apparently somebody thinks that i am a spambot. They locked my blog and are making me write word verifications for everything. That means that i'll most likely forget to save it, and then i'll close it and realise that i didn't save and cry. The thing said that spambots are characterised by lots of posts really fast, generally with nonsense writings in them, and links everywhere. This is FACEBOOK's fault... They're on to me. I've got to get to a safe house. and i also need a laptop case with a hand cuff on the handle so i can hand cuff it to myself, and also have one of those ear pieces with the little coily cord going down the back of my tux.
I'll stick this up for now. Make sure that you find some links on the page, and tell The Machines that i am not a spambot. Honestly. And leave your comments, i'm feeling a little unloved. More stuff to follow, but i am EXHAUSTED right now. I'm so exhausted, if i were a pipe, you'd have to find a muffler for me. a fancy chrome muffler, because those are awesome.
I have to tell you, this whole me being a spambot quickly lost it's novelty. It's actually really annoying and tedious. I do find it most vexing, and trying on my nerves, who are my best friends... Seriously though, if you can find any violations of the terms of service here, then please tell me about it, so that i can take it away or edit it. I miss my auto-saves :(.
Just got back from Pride and Prejudice. It was pretty good. I missed the first couple minutes of it though, because some random jerk decided that i was in his spot on the bus so he picked a fight with me and then got us both kicked off. This was at like bannatyne, so it was probably faster that i ran down to main and then to MTC instead of following the bus route. Jerk guy just laughed at me and wandered off too, he didn't even CARE about the spot.
Latest Idiots News. I got back from the play at like 4:00, and i immediately noticed that there was 4 too many kids in my house, and they were carrying powerful cleaning sprays, and screaming. The air also smelled like people had been playing with bug spray and Lysol, but that's probably just me. Then there was a small noisy war centered on the fact that they had gotten the dog to puke and were wiping it on each other. This is pretty much the only time i felt sorry for the dog, ever. Then i went to get a snack, and one of THEM had eaten like half of the sausage rolls. You'd think i'd be desensitized to this by now or something, but it's still bad as ever. It's about as bothersome as having ants running all over you, while listening to the Conservative Party of Canada speaking to you, and then sniffing sharpies and lighter fluid. (Just kidding about the CPC remark, you guys are kind of okay i guess.) The only redeeming part about them is that one of them is politically cognisant, and so i get into intriguing discussions about stuff with him. As much as people talk about Sarah Palin, it's hard to find any weirder discussions about her.
It's sad that people don't email me anymore. in the last month, i have gotten more emails from my MATH TEACHER than from spam, and friends, and useful junk mail combined. This is a sign that something is seriously wrong. Very. Wrong.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Saturday fun.

Today was well wasted. I intended to finally catch up on all the myriad things that i HAVE to finish if i feel even a little inclined to pass school, but apparently spending the day driving sisters around takes far more precedence. "Oh well, you still have tomorrow!" is what i was told by my mom when i was freaking out because i had wasted six hours driving back and forth between the forks, portage, and home. If ANYONE could perhaps lend a hand in organising me a little at least, it would be greatly appreciated. Also if anyone has MS Paint (or the Mac equivelant), and a lot of time on their hands, i am in the middle of a massive project that would go so much faster if i didn't have this one part distracting me the whole time.

Driving was especially dull today, mostly because there was nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't run any red lights, or stop signs, or hit anything/one.

I finally picked my EE topic. Something about the Internet and how it affects society in general. I think that it's pretty much perfect for me. It's going to be amazing. The marker will weep when they read it, and then they will rip all their kids' paintings off of their fridge and put my essay on it.

Got back from my run a little while ago. The hallucinations this time were pretty much on par. Maybe a little faster coming, but just the same stuff... Lots of thinking instead of hallucinating actually. I always have the best ideas when i hit around 8k. Today: To save on airfare, i should just MAIL myself to Nova Scotia! Rhapsody is a great band, I should go listen to them when i get back. Why do i always eat fried foods before a long run? I could taste Fergie's Fish and Chips at around 3k.

No ozone today, but also i didn't take my music with me. I listened to an infinite symphony of sound, the soft whispers of the wind through the leaves... The crunch of gravel underneath my feet, in time with the soft panting of my own breath... The swish of my shirt as i moved my arms. The scrape of falling leaves as they slide across the cement. The slap of the other runners' feet with their laboured panting. An imperceptible hiss of bike tires, with a small woosh when a lone car drives through the serenade of nature and athlete. Then there was the smells and tastes! the bitter grittiness of the gravel dust, whipped by the wind. The earthy rot of the leaves as they are trampled underfoot, forgotten forever. The salty bite as your own sweat drips into your eyes, causing them to water and tear. Two miles later, you wonder briefly whether it is sweat or tears falling from your face. It doesn't matter though. You've done 5 miles, you're almost done. As you pass yet another couple walking with a baby carriage, you wonder if you'll ever find someone so perfect for you. Or maybe they aren't perfect for each other at all. Then you reach home, the last mile spent in quiet solidute. Your mind flits back down the road, fast forward stuck in reverse. You can see everything you saw as if from someone else's eyes. Then you drink water. You drink until the water cooler is gasping for air, while you still swallow the pure clarity. Finally you stop, and give yourself respite. You immediately overheat and start sweating again. You can feel the fresh sweat cutting rivulets through the crust of salt around your temples and chin, it doesn't matter though.... Then you go and write about it in your blog and laugh to yourself thinking: "haha, like all of the people who read this will be like WTF?!"

It doesn't look like that anymore actually... It's much prettier when the leaves are gold, brown and red. There are two parts of the sidewalk where no leaves fall, a narrow line through each side, where the bikes crush them and sweep them off to the sides and middle. It looks like the leaves are lava, and someone has driven a quad straight through it. A quad that doesn't melt and runs through lava.
Now for the actual description of the hallucinations....
Pretty much what happens is at 2k my mind starts to wander away from the rest of me, as i settle into a rhythm. then at 5k my brain says LOL WTF WERE R U? then i get a conflict between my mind and my brain, that ends in me thinking about some random inconsequential thing. then i start contemplating this thing, because my brain and my mind are having a tea party or a deathmatch with swords with guns on them or something. At like 8k, i start hallucinating, generally about whatever i was thinking about, but this would be 10-15 minutes later, so i would be proud if it was the same thing i started with. Then i start having even BETTER hallucinations, about concepts rather than people. I fought communism and capitalism today. It's like being trapped inside the political cartoons in a paper, with naught but your wits and a crossbow. At 15k, everything fades away, and you are running on nothing, towards nothing, your breath, heartbeat, and footsteps all echo inside your skull over and over again. Then at 20k, all you can see is a stadium in the distance. When you get to it, you see that it is filled to the top, but the top of the stands seems to extend outwards and upwards forever. The crowd sparkles with camera flashes, and they are shouting your name... "Paul! Paul! Paul!...." You realise that THIS is life. THIS is why you are here, THIS is the reason that you wake up in the morning. Then you finish, and the world disappears again. You see a digital clock glowing behind you. "1:32:33"... "1:32:34".... Then the world fades back in and you are pushed away from the numbers. Someone hands you a banana and a popsicle, you see a bucket of chocolate milk cartons and think "what the hell, i'm not going to run anymore today!" and take one. You then step out into the sunlight with your food, and more people swarm you with congratulations, and queries about the course, your time, your legs, mundane things that don't matter anymore.
Don't you look at me like that... I'm not crazy. I know it. Now for reals. Being salty is one of the weirdest feelings ever. You feel gritty, but then the salt is in all the tiny little cracks, so your skin is smooth to the touch. Also, don't drink from a SIGG if you're really salty, because it makes the rest of the water salty too. It's pretty gross.
Roseisle is going to be AWESOME! the leaves will look like lava flowing down the hill. I'll try and remember to take pictures

Friday, October 3, 2008

News from the Frontlines

So, if you haven't figured it out yet, there is no school for me today. I had to go in anyways, and write a physics test. During that hour, multiple teachers walked it, got my attention away from my test, and thinking they were the most clever person in the world, boldly stated: "Umm, you know there is no school today, right?". I laughed very loud and realistically for each one, with a "HA. HA. HA. YOU ARE QUITE FUNNY GOOD SIR/MADAM (select appropriate) SUCH GOOD TASTE/SARCASM IS TRULY A GIFT EH, WOT."
Then i would glare at them and go back to my test. One of them i decided to patronise, and he believed that i had no clue where everyone else was.
So i finished my test, then i came back home, only to find that The Idiots have already infested it. I still have no ideas how to get rid of them, i just kind of ignore them until they leave.
In other news, i have been listening to the Goo Goo Dolls, and Counting Crows all morning. In there, right between two A Fine Frenzy songs was Gorillas. That made me laugh.... Trip Hop and whatever you would put the rest of those into doesn't mix well. It's kind of like peanut butter and Blue Jello. It MIGHT very well go together, but you would have to try a peanut butter and blue jello sandwich to know. I think a better thing would be "making hot chocolate with Coke instead of water...". In other Food related news, i am almost done the last of the penicillin that the dentist gave me last week, and i found pita chips and snap peas in the kitchen! If anyone feels up to a celebration in honour of this momentous event, please feel free. You can come up with your own name for it...
Lime Jello is for sure the best thing in FOREVER. I made some yesterday, and then i had it for elevensies. (Elevensies is the meal that comes between brunch and lunch, at around 11 o clock) I don't actually get to EAT elevensies much anymore, because of history.
You know, it's funny. Now that i actually HAVE a real blog, i can't think of as much random stuff to write down. It's also a little weird because i have no idea whatsoever what is going on in any of my classes, because i missed about a WEEK already. I can't wait until like February, when I'm going to be missing pretty much every second day for track meets. Then there will be lots to write about, such as all of my times that i get. So far i have set one new record this year, in the 5K, with 17:51, at Roseisle. hopefully I'll set a new one for me next week.
You can disregard that picture by the way, i was just fiddling around with the options. Or you can look at it. It's from our trip to Kentucky, when we stopped at the Corvette Museum in Bowling Green Kentucky. It was pretty cool. they had all these corvettes (go figure) Then they had a whole bunch of concept Corvettes, which are like Corvettes, but BETTER. It's like if Fred Astaire and MC Hammer had a love-child, and that child danced. And by dancing i mean being amazing. You can LIFT the frame easily! In other car news, I get to play ride monkey for most of tomorrow. You know, it's like where i get up bright and early and ferry my sisters around to various parts of the city. The BEST part is that i get to have my mom in shotgun, freaking out the whole time because i apparently CAN'T DRIVE AT ALL. I should really schedule my road test soon.... Before the snow hopefully.
Yeah, so each time i come back to this, there is another line added between my paragraphs.... It bothers me a lot, so i have to keep deleting them. Hahahaha. I just told my dad that i am writing a love letter. People are so gullible. That's why things like Facebook work, because you can fool several million people with a simple lie, that YOUR way is BETTER. This is why people have wars. BECAUSE THE OTHER PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
In Idiot-related News, Alex, and his band of morons are trying to convince John (Alexander's step dad) that they are entitled to a sleepover at his house. It's especially funny, because he told them that they couldn't, and then he told me to tell them that they couldn't. He'll cave though. They all do. This is another reason that Faxbook can survive, because normal people allow themselves to be swayed by the other "cooler" people. Those people are so cool, they seem to show the signs of Hypothermia, such as decreased brain function. Also, i was playing Halo 3 with Alexander today. We were doing Coop, and then he got kind of far ahead, with a mongoose. So he backed up so that i didn't get pulled over to him without getting the other one first. Funniest Halo thing ever if you have played it once or twice at least. I was about to get on it, and then he splattered me while driving backwards. For those of you who are giving your screens blank, uncomprehending looks, or who just don't understand the gravity of this situation: It is QUITE HARD to splatter someone with a mongoose, because "splattering" involves getting going at a good clip and turning them into a nice smear on the road with your car/hovercraft/motorcycle/plane. The mongoose is hard because it's a little bigger than two Segways taped together, a little smaller than a quad. Backwards is even harder, as you can imagine, because it involves driving a car backwards, with no shoulder checking whatsoever. Then there is the whole accidental part. Speaking of smears.... I was biking to Ultimate in Assiniboine park yesterday, and i got on to wellington crescent. There was FRESH ROADKILL!!!!! Blecgh! Roadkill is bad enough when it's a week old and all grey from other tires running over it. This was still wet and glistening. You could also see that one other car had run over it too, because there was little puddles of gore evenly spaced going away from it. It was the most revolting thing that i have seen in the past little while. For anyone feeling like doing something about it, it's about 100m before the overpass, right after Lanark. It's a squirrel i think, and it was a big fat one.
I've kind of lost my appetite for blogging just now, so i'll stick this up and perhaps write more tomorrow.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Is Weekend Time!

Hoorays, i made it to the end times! I was actually in class for about 45% of this week, and i am now roughly VERY behind on EVERYTHING. I have to finish a book, do a history summary, a physics test, find some sucka to explain what i missed in physics, then i have to DO the physics assignments. I'm pretty sure that Dr. Mitchler hates me. She's been not very polite with me two days in a row now, and i am pretty sure that when i take MY own time to write HER physics test, she'll be all grumpy at me... Neah!
Anyways, back to the weekend! I'm probably going to be on and off the compy for most of it, so feel free to check in on me and make sure i still know which country i am in, what my name is, and tedious things like that. I will most likely go through ALL of my music for the weekend. As much as i love all music, i still only have a paltry 40 hours or so. Newer songs this week are pretty awesome. "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy, "Blind" by Planet Smashers, "Future Proof" by Massive Attack, and "Let Love In" by the Goo Goo Dolls. That last one isn't actually new for me, i just hadn't heard it in a while and thought "Huh, that's pretty nice... let's go again!". "Nowhere Man" by the Beatles is pretty good too.
So, for those of you who have been into my house before, i moved my massive pillow against a little corner of the Playroom, and then i wedged myself into it. It's awesome now, I piled like thirty stuffed animals of various sizes and species behind it, so now it just covers it, and there is a massive butt-print, because i sat in it for three hours. All you need is one thin blanket, and a book or something to entertain you, and you don't need to get up ever again. You could fall asleep instantly. I left a fleece blanket there, so if you want to read in it, there is always at least one cat sleeping on it. (In case you haven't figured it out, i am most proud of myself :D)
In case you're too lazy to find the old post, I'll point you to it. Start at the top of the screen, then go down like 300 pixels or so, more like 400 though, depending on your screen res. Then you'll see a little calendar, click on the "First Light" post, to see the very first post EVER!!!! Wasn't that easy? No? Oh well then. I guess it's too late for you. You can also see what other people think of my mad ravings, and write your own drivel on the interweb too! hoorays! Virtual high fives all around! Except for YOU! BA HA HA HA! i control the virtual high fives around here! AND the cake also! HEEHAW! Guess what you can do about it? NOT MUCH! (that was originally ha ha ha, but with no spaces, and the spell checker didn't like it.)
Aw. I just realised that i alphabetised my favourite songs this week without even thinking about it... Something is terribly wrong with me.... BUT, no worries, i bet YOU wish you were as screwed up as i am! you only DREAM about being this messed! then of course you wake up in a cold sweat and reassure yourself it's only a dream.
Anyways. I have decided that it may be time for me to start a new blag soon. Yes i know, another one. But i don't really want ALL my thoughts muddled together. The other blog would most likely be told like a story, from some severely kick ass future, where i have a katana, and Facebook has taken over the world and i am the sole rebel. If you want, you can come and join my band of misanthropic bad asses, but you have to bring your own crazy awesome weapon. Maybe a sword like Cervantes has in SC4, with a GUN on the end. yeah... a sword with a gun on it.... or maybe you could have like a shuriken, but in some crazy cool shape. Whatever you want though, it's up to you if you want to fight the machine.
You know, i used to be proud if i wrote 500 words in one sitting? i also used to not be able to touch type, but i can now. I also write at least a thousand words in one sitting, on a slow day. Now that i have a blog though, it's going to shoot straight up like a satellite at escape velocity from Jupiter. I also used to not use apostrophes, grammar, syntax, or basic spell checking.
Now that i am all grown up and mature (relatively) I can just kind of let my mind off it's leash, and leave it here for someone else to come and pick up its crap. You should try, you'd be amazed at how many other people do the same, but they seem to lose their minds and just find the trail of crap and fling it at you. Youtube is where such minds collaborate in a massive crap-fest, which involves seeing who can shovel the most into a shotgun barrel and just blast it over everything

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

First Light.

Well... i decided that i was finished with the old LaToP nonsense. For those of you who just kind of stumbled here randomly, Hi! i doubt i will hurt you physically, but your sanity is better left over there in the corner with the other ones...
This is the new Life and Times of Paul. It's actually a real blog now! anyone can read it! hoorays! Feel free to write down the name and write it anywhere you can, bathroom stalls, urinals, walls, lockers, people's hands or arms, inside a DNE circle on a whiteboard, the desk, anywhere! Just don't do anything questionably legal or creepy. Don't carve it into your forearm or kidnap children and brand them with it. That will force me to take drastic actions against you. You may survive, but it will not be pleasant.
Anyways, a bit about the blogger, Paul. I'm a pretty awesome guy as you may/may not know... I can emotionally scar children from fifty metres, but i don't actually like scarring anyone, in anyway...
I waste most of my time in various forms of the Internet, be it Maple Story, or MSN, or the plethora of web comics i read. Other things that i do include sassing morons, reading, more video games, eating, reading, running, eating, repeating myself, making bad jokes, making distasteful jokes, and video games.
There is kind of a lot of pressure on me right now isn't there? i have to make the first post good, otherwise people will get the wrong impression of me won't they? TOO BAD. NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION. if you would like to share it, then start your own blog. If i cared the slightest what you had to say, i would most likely read your blog.
Jeez. some one's phone is ringing somewhere in my house. It's not the land line, but it's annoying the everliving patience out of me. Like holy crow, who leaves their phone on the LOUDEST, in some one's house? that's horrible... where do they learn that, their parents?! i am going to go find that phone and give whichever sod answers a very strong talking to.
Anyways. I started this blog because it was too time consuming to write all the email addresses in each time i wanted to post a new one. This way i can send one mass email once and then they can look whenever they want! the nice people at blog spot even made a handy dandy nifty difty "follow this blog" link, so that even YOU can follow the blog! go on, try it!
Soo, now for the real beans and wieners of the blog...
Today was the last cross country meet, i got sixth... Kelvin won most of the categories.
So, Helen asked me to go to Kenya with her to build schools for kids... It seems kind of random, but an adventure none the less. I will most likely join her if i can afford it :P it's still really up in the air though, because I'm still waiting on Zellers to call me back. I should probably look a little harder for a job if i want one... I also want one of those handy little laptops.
So, now is the time for Paul to catch up on his homework. Anybody want to make up their own questions for me to ask them in the presentations tomorrow? I still need to do all of that, and then finish off that history assignment. Anybody who doesn't feel like sleeping tonight is welcome to join me in the endless symphony of sadness and toil. Just wait, later in the night I'll think of better words. They will be quite... salubrious.